*where Lolita is the diminutive form of Lola, itself a diminutive form of Dolores. Dolores = suffering.

Thursday 4 March 2010

Cardinal virtue

I'm never one for drastic personality changes. But I've realized the past couple of years that change can be inflicted upon you even in your ignorance. BAM! You wake up, and you're a stressful maniac or BAM! You break up and suddenly there's no crying or talking you just keep it to yourself. WHOAH slow down - who the HELL is this person? I can't recognize me sometimes.

Patient...(I have developed that in quite an array of circumstances my mum should be fucking proud most of our arguments focus - or used to focus - around the fact that I 'do not tolerate anyone and that is bad')
Unsentimental (occasionally) - I love this this is my favorite everyone freaks out esp. my friends; I actually subconsciously wrote freaks so I might just call them that - esp. my freaks in London who think I'm turning into this monster that doesn't feel but only laughs. at her own jokes. well come on they're funnier than yours aren't they?
Sarcastic (I swear words just come flying out of my mouth) - I even got labelled as 'so sweet' (ironically of course) by a supervisor. wow.
Stress freak... This i HATE. Like, it takes approx. 5 episodes of brothers&sisters (which by the WAY is friggin' amazing so watch it even if you detest callista flokhart like I do) to get me to sleep and then I purposefully wake up early in the morning to 'get things done' and I never do because I never get enough sleep because I'm a stress freak.
Cynical...Ehh come on. We need a bit of this to survive. Maybe I've taken it to the next level. I look at people and I feel that everything I say should be a smart retort that won't expose me to any sort of situation which is a potentially hurtful one. So no matter HOW HOT that guy is I will not let him know that's for sure because COME ON he probably gets it all the time the arrogant motherfucker and I'm not one to boost already boosted egos plus I don't want any girl's leftovers as a matter of fact I do not feel like being a left over at the moment so can you PLEASE let me say all the cynical bullshit that gives me momentary pleasure? Thank you! Buy me a chai latte if you want to calm me down and don't FLIRT just TALK when you do and then I'll stop being sarcastic and start being me (or whatever's left of me) for a change. (pun: get it? mouahaha)

Well. That's the life low down of Week 8. I can't believe it - this term has gone by so quickly and so slowly. Like, I expected it to be a COMPLETELY different term that what it turned out to be. I couldn't focus for the most part of it, my mind still wanders, but I've done lots of stuff which is cool and I cannot wait to just chill in my room and go jogging in the morning and fix my dissertation by attempting to read the masses of stuff Eric Griffiths suggested. He was great by the way it's true that he's a genius not that I have to say so for it to be true I just want to put it out there. Anyhoot. I have to finish my first Cambridge coursework piece which is freaking me out - the 'I could've done so much better' feeling has started to emerge and I hate it - so toodles and love x

p.s. I'm also going to go see how a newspaper gets printed tonight. How EXciting. meh. x

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