Welcome to Varsity. Cambridge University's best student newspaper in the world.
Home to the Derringer, a man who literally knows EVERYTHING about ANYTHING that has to do with newspapers, photoshop, taking pictures, editing operas from multiple camera angles, and many other fantastic and fantastical stuff.
Now, you can imagine what a state the Varsity Office is in: just picture my room on an average day, sans the shoes but with tons of garbage being spewed from the bin and moulding tea in at least a dozen of tea cups lying around. We do work really intensely, guys, that's why.
Occasionally, however, the Derringer sends emails around threatening to LOCK THE KITCHEN FOR A WEEK if someone doesn't get their ass at the office RIGHT NOW AND CLEAN THE MUGS AND CLEAR THE BIN AND MAKE THE MUGS SPOTLESSLY SPARKLY!
C. Wu and I obeyed immediately last Sunday. Washed all the mugs. HURRAH!
When you're an intellectual journalist,
you need this stuff in print to comprehend it.
Editors will resort to violence. Unashamedly.
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